Da 'Larious Joke of Da Day!

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Dat 'Larious! Dat like completely 'Larious!

Da snow de amarillo! HA HA HA! Dat like dawg pee!

HA HA HA HA HA HA

Choco Teaches Da Dumb Humans!

'Ello! Welcome to another 'dition of...

...CHOCO Teaches da Dumb Humans!

Today da CHOCO gonna talk about Chrissmus. Chrissmus is a weird human thing dat da CHOCO no can understand very much, but CHOCO sure da CHOCO understand better dan da humans, so let's get started.

Chrissmus is a time when da humans bring trees into their houses and hang little glass balls on da trees and put lights on dem. CHOCO know: humans are weird! Also, da humans take their socks and hang them in the living room instead of in drawers. Also, da humans have fun playing presents!

Here's how U can play presents: First, U go to a store and U buy somethin' dat U want! Then U put paper on it so da friend no can tell what it is, den you give it to dat friend. Dat friend no want what U bought--U want it! But that OK. It will all make sense in a minute (at least as much as da dumb dumb humans ever make sense!) U friend do the same thing to U. Den U both tear da paper off da thing U is given in front of the other human, and U then tell dat human how much U really like what they give U. Den U take that thing back to the store, get U money back, and buy for Uself da thing dat U gave da other person! Dat called Playing Presents!

Why don't da dumb dumb humans just buy demselves what dey want in da first place? CHOCO don't know. But that OK! There is a lot of things humans do that don't make no sense to da CHOCO.

There more to Chrissmas than all dat, but CHOCO no have time to go into it now. Maybe CHOCO write more later about da Chrissmas. Or maybe not! CHOCO don't know!

Choco I Forrige U

'Ello. Dis is da CHOCO! It been a long time, hasn't it?

Da CHOCO I Forrige U. Da CHOCO try not to do dat again.

But if da CHOCO do do it again, what U gonna do about it? Huh? Huh? Huh?

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! Da CHOCO just say "do do." Dat like doo doo. Dat like dawg poop!

Anyway, da CHOCO no write 'cause da CHOCO is moving with Meradiff and Natalia's family. 'Cause da CHOCO is PART of Meradiff and Natalia's family!

(Even if da Meradiff and Natalia's mama want da CHOCO to go away!)

So da CHOCO been moving his stuff! Dis picture is taken in da CHOCO's new closet. What U think? CHOCO like, but not like da lighting. It not pleasing. Plus also, it make da CHOCO's favorite chair look brown. It not brown! It red! Dat obvious!

So CHOCO try to write more. CHOCO next entry be about Chrissmus. Dat somethin' about da dumb dumb humans dat da CHOCO not understand, but maybe da CHOCO try to explain.

Next time.

CHOCO Answers da Mail!

'Ello! Dis is da CHOCO , and today it time for another 'stallment of CHOCO Answers da Mail!

Today's letter from some human calling herself da Giant Lollipop! She write dis:

Hi Choco how are you doing.well I was just wondering if you could help me you see I have this bird and he bites me alot how do I get him to stop?

'Ello, Giant Lollipop. First, to answer U first question, da CHOCO is muy bien! Gracias for asking dat one. U betcha!

As for da other question about da flappy bird dat bites, CHOCO have some secret to tell U: Not all flappy birds is flappy birds. Some flappy birds is actually chocos, and those chocos maybe sometimes try to menudo da humans! 'Specially da human kids 'cause dey is Xtra tasty!

So watch out for da flappy bird, Giant Lollipop. Da flappy bird maybe tryin' to menudo U! Maybe U better never never never go near da Flappy bird again!

Sincerely,

da CHOCO

P.S. What kinda name is Giant Lollipop! CHOCO think maybe dat not U real name.

P.P.S. U not spell da CHOCO's name good. It all in da capitals.

P.P.P.S CHOCO type "P.P" in da word "P.P.S"

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Dat a 'larious joke!

Choco Answers da Mail!

'Ello! Dis is da CHOCO again, and da CHOCO gonna answer da dumb human letters!

Today's letter is from Suger (Dat a funny name for a human kid!). She write to da CHOCO dis:

choco I have this sugar problem and mabye um well you can help me please tell me how to avoid sugar. not that I hate its just that it...um... is a tad (BIG) problem to me and they tell me to find someone to help me signed, Suger

Dear Suger,
U maybe don't know how to spell worse den da CHOCO! Dat odd. Everybody know dat da CHOCO's name is always CAPITALIZED!

Anyway, as far as U question go, da CHOCO has da same problem as U. Da CHOCO no like da sugar AT ALL! It gross! CHOCO never want to menudo it!

But da CHOCO's mama always say, "CHOCO, U no can menudo da human kid 'til U menudo da sweets!"

"Moooooooooooooooooooooooooommmm!!!!!!" da CHOCO reply. "Da CHOCO no want to menudo da sweets! Da CHOCO just wanna menudo da kid. He tasty! Plus, also, in addition to dat, he wearing a Pokemon shirt, which da CHOCO think taste very good!"

"No, CHOCO!" da mama say. "U no can menudo da human until U menudo da sweets! Also, U don't even think about havin' da broccoli for dessert!"

Dat why da CHOCO no gonde de pecula da mama!

Anyway, Suger, CHOCO no can help U with dis problem! It one of the many wonders of the world! If U ever figure out, U can tell da CHOCO, and maybe da CHOCO not menudo U!!!!

Dat all for now! Bye bye!

Da 'Larious Joke of Da Day!

Dis is da 'Larious Joke of Da Day! It may be hard for da dumb humans to understand, though, 'cause it in Choco language.



HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

CHOCO just...

...HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

CHOCO no can even...

...HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Dat just funny. CHOCO don't care what kind of creature U is! Dat is...

...HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!...

CHOCO Answers da Dumb Human Letters

'Ello! Dis is da CHOCO again!

Da CHOCO is starting a new segment today. It called "CHOCO Answers da Dumb Human Letters"!

What CHOCO gonna do is answer letters dat da dumb humans write to da CHOCO and ask. We gonna start today with dis letter CHOCO got from Leslye Bristol of a town called Callyfornia!
Leslye write,

"Dear CHOCO! I would like to know why you are just a stick figure? And what are those things that hang off of the sides of your head? Are they ears? Or are they horns?"

Dear Leslye, muchas gracias for da letter. Da CHOCO is glad U write. But da CHOCO have to say...U may be da dumbest human EVER! CHOCO hope dat not hurt U feelings!

CHOCO is NOT a stick figure! CHOCO is a choco! But there something wrong with human cameras (prob'ly cause they made by da dumb humans!). Whenever a choco's picture is taken, U no can see him da way he looks. He only look like a stick figure. So what U see in da pictures is not what da CHOCO look like. It just a--what U call it--CHOCOdon't know--maybe a afterimage or something like dat!

As for da question about da things on da side of da CHOCO's head, da CHOCO is very, very, very, very sensitive about dat and no want to even talk about it! U hurt da CHOCO's feelings when U ask dat question. U should have da shame in your head! Only U prob'ly too dumb to have da shame in your head anyway, so da CHOCO no has da anger for U.

Come back next time for more CHOCO Answers da Dumb Human Letters!

Da 'Larious Joke of Da Day!

Hey, Look at DAT!

It's a honkin' flappy bird!

And Guess WHAT????

Da honking flappy bird make Meradiff and Natalia's mama 'tsinkagin!

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Dat so funny dat CHOCO never even HEARD it!!!!

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Choco Gonna Sue!

Good Day. Dis is da CHOCO, who today is in da big time law library doin' some research on da law stuff, 'cause da CHOCO is gonna sue!

Dat right, sue!

A lot of humans has been using da CHOCO's name and da CHOCO has not gotten any moolah from dem. Dat no can be right, so da CHOCO gonna sue dem for every penny!

U can see da ev'dence the CHOCO has collected by lookin' at da links below. Before da CHOCO show U, though, da CHOCO want to state da following:

Neither da CHOCO nor da CHOCO's represenatives has had anything to do with these other web pages, and da CHOCO no is affiliated with dem.

Also, da CHOCO now feel like he better put dis on his web page:

All content of dis here blog (whatever a blog is) is copyright 2008 by da CHOCO! So hands off or da CHOCO menudo U!

Link 1: Dis is not da CHOCO's girlfriend or nothin'. Da CHOCO does not even know her!

Link 2: Dis is not at ALL what da CHOCO, look like!

Link 3: CHOCO doesn't even understand dis one.

Link 4: Dose are NOT chocos. Those is humans. CHOCO think they maybe making dat one human girl menudo dawgpoop! That is not approprio! That is bad!

Link 5: This is da one dat bother da CHOCO da most. First, dat not even waht da CHOCO look like (though da color and da winnin' smile is close!). Second, CHOCO not get even so much as one dollar from da sales of dis!

CHOCO is NOT Magic!

CHOCO is triste.

CHOCO is muy triste!

CHOCO is NOT magic!

CHOCO thought dat da CHOCO was a magic choco! CHOCO thought da CHOCO was invisible!

But da CHOCO was just a big dummy choco. Da CHOCO was just tricked by da big chocos. Da CHOCO was a set up CHOCO.

Da big chocos made da CHOCO think da CHOCO was invisible. Den they made da CHOCO think that it would be a 'larious joke of da day if da CHOCO pulled down da choco teacher's pants! So da CHOCO did!

"CHOCO!" da teacher screamed. "CHOCO, da teacher gonna MENUDO da CHOCO! What is U doin'?"

"HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!" da CHOCO said. "Da CHOCO isn't doin' NOTHIN 'cause U can't even see da CHOCO! Cause da CHOCO is invisible!"

But da CHOCO wasn't invisible enough 'cause da teacher hit da CHOCO and sent da CHOCO to da principal's office. And dat is where da CHOCO is right now. So da CHOCO is not magic! And da CHOCO is NOT friends with da big chocos. Da CHOCO is just a loser choco. A loser choco that is in trouble!

Da CHOCO is triste.

Muy triste.

Da 'Larious Joke of Da Day!

Hey, look at DAT!

Dat a meow meow kitty makin' meow meow kitty dawgpoop!

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

And da meow meow kitty is on a TOILET!

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

Dat a joke!

Dat a funny, FUNNY joke!

Yep, da CHOCO almost lost his balance and den tumbled off da couch over dat one!

Choco is MAGIC!!

U probably is wonderin' why U is lookin' at a empty chair. Dat cause da CHOCO is MAGIC!!

Dat right! Da CHOCO is INVISIBLE!

CHOCO find out about this today in escuela. While CHOCO was in da hallway 'tween choco classes, one of da bigger chocos in the escuela walked right into da CHOCO, knocking da CHOCO down.

"Hey!" da CHOCO say real loud like, 'cause da CHOCO had da anger in his head. "What U doin'?"

"Huh?" da big choco say. "Who said dat?"

"Dis is da CHOCO!!!!" da CHOCO say. "Why you run into da CHOCO?"

"Is dat U, CHOCO?" da big choco say. "U must be invisible, CHOCO!" Den da big choco walked right into da CHOCO again, knocking da CHOCO down again! "Oh, I forrige U, CHOCO. I not see U!" Den da big choco laugh real loud, probably 'cause he 'tsinkagain 'cause da CHOCO is invisible.

Da big choco tell all his friends to come over and see how da CHOCO is invisible. Dey all came over, too, and dey no could see da CHOCO, either. A bunch of da big chocos walked into da CHOCO, too, knockin' da CHOCO down. Dey kept sayin' things like, "Ooops, CHOCO! We no can see U!" or "Hey! What just hit me?" Things like dat.

All da big chocos used to make fun of da CHOCO and say dey was gonna menudo da CHOCO if CHOCO didn't go away and leave dem alone. Not anymore! CHOCO is a very, very good friends with all of da big chocos now!

CHOCO just wish they quit knockin' da CHOCO down!

Da 'Larious Joke of Da Day!

'Ello!

Did U hear da one about da one armed Choco?

He menudoed a human dat was DIS big!

Only he only had one arm, so he could only hold up one arm!

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

Did U get it?

Dat was da Large Explosive DEVICE!

Da 'Larious Joke of Da Day!

Human: When da CHOCO menudos da popcorn, does da CHOCO menudo da popcorn with da CHOCO 's fingers?

CHOCO : Nope! Da CHOCO waits and menudos da fingers later!

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Did U get it?

Did U?

Dat was funny like a pancake is flat out!

Things Dat Make Choco Tsinkagin

Get dis straight right NOW, human: Da CHOCO is a brave choco! Da CHOCO will MENUDO da human if da human say anything bad about da CHOCO!

Now that we all know that, da CHOCO want to talk today about da things that make da CHOCO tsinkagin.

Number Uno: La Agua! CHOCO no gonde de pecula da agua! Here why: Once Meradiff and Natalia decided to take a baff in a very large bafftub dat they call da swim'n'pool. Natalia jump in. Den da Meradiff start to jump in. Da CHOCO say, "Hey! Da CHOCO want to play with Meradiff and Natalia!" so da CHOCO got in da big bafftub, too!

Except when da CHOCO get in da bafftub da CHOCO fall down in la agua and da CHOCO not able to get up somehow. Also, somethin' wrong with da CHOCO 'cause da CHOCO no could breathe anymore without it hurting! Da Natalia pick up da CHOCO from da bafftub and carry da CHOCO over to the side. Da CHOCO say "Gracias!" and try again.

Who woulda guessed it? Da CHOCO fall down in la agua once more, and da CHOCO no could breathe once more! Da Natalia and da Meradiff pull da CHOCO over to da side of da pool, and da Natalia say, "Did da CHOCO tsinkagin?"

Da CHOCO was almost crying (Just ALMOST crying! Chocos don't cry!) and da CHOCO said, "Ya! Da CHOCO tsinkagin!" And ever since den da CHOCO no like da agua! It make da CHOCO tsinkagin!

Number Finally: Da CHOCO 's daddy! 'Cause he try to MENUDO da CHOCO !

Number Tres: Da CHOCO 's Mama! 'Cause she make da CHOCO menudo da CHOCO 's sweets before da CHOCO can menudo da CHOCO 's human!

Number Four: Da Meradif and Natalia's Mama. Cause she no like da CHOCO ! She mean. She say things like, "Da Meradiff and Natalia's Mama wish da CHOCO go away forever!"

Those the main things dat make da CHOCO tsinkagin. But mostly la agua and da Meradiff and Natalia's Mama!

Choco's Escuela

So maybe U wonderin' if da CHOCO go to escuela. Da answer is You BETCHA da CHOCO does!

Da CHOCO goes to choco escuela. Da name of da CHOCO's escuela is Halloween Express!

CHOCO no like da escuela...'cause da teacher no like da CHOCO.

Teacher ask, "Clase, what U do when a small human is lost and wanderin' in da street?"

Da CHOCO raise da CHOCO's hand 'cause da CHOCO know dat one. Da teacher, though, yell at da CHOCO.

"CHOCO!" she shout. "What did I tell U?"

CHOCO gets muy triste. CHOCO put head down as he say, "CHOCO no supposed to raise hand."

"Dat right!" da teacher say. "What IS CHOCO supposed to do?"

CHOCO say real slow, "CHOCO supposed to shout out answer like all da other chocos."

"Dat right!" da teacher say. "CHOCO has to learn to shout like all da other chocos." Den the teacher look at CHOCO and say, "OK, as long as da CHOCO has interrupted da clase by raising CHOCO's hand, what is da answer. What is da CHOCO supposed to do when a small human is lost and wanderin' the street?"

"CHOCO supposed to MENUDO da kid!" da CHOCO shout as loud as da CHOCO can.

"At least U got dat right," da teacher said.

CHOCO hate when da teacher say that!

Da 'Larious Joke of Da Day!

When da CHOCO go with Meradiff and Natalia to Meradiff and Natalia's favorite menudo place, called da Golden Corral, guess what da CHOCO menudo on da buffet line?

Give up?

CHOCO menudos...

...da SERVERS!

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Dat one make da Choco get cracks all over!

Choco Has Da Anger in His Head!

Dis website below make da Choco VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY Angry!

Choco doesn't even know where a human would find 500 great, limp chocos!

Choco gonna find da dumb human dat wrote this and MENUDO da HUMAN!

Click here to see da dumb link!

Da 'Larious Joke of Da Day!

Hey, Look at DAT!

Dat a Flappy bird making Flappy bird dawgpoop!

Dat is a Large 'xplosive DEVICE!

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Yeah, dat one is real hum DING errrrr!

Choco Teaches da Dumb Humans

'Ello! Choco has been asked to talk about some of da Choco's words dat da Choco uses. Choco not sure why. Maybe 'cause da humans dat read this blog (whatever a blog is) is dumb. Dat not unusual.

Anyway, here is a 'scription of some words that maybe too smart for most humans to understand.

Menudo: Dat one easy! It mean to put somethin' into a mouth and crunch and crunch until that somethin' is all bye bye.

Example: Choco menudo da little kid!

Finally: Dat one easy, too! It is da thing that come after uno and before tres. Or between one and three in human words. U supposed to yell whenever u see this.

Example: When playing da game of Sorry, Natalia no can draw a finally card. She begin to have da frustration in her head. Then she get a finally card at last. "Finally!" she scream. Da Choco scream, "FINALLY," too!

Forrige: Dat a hard one for da Choco, too, 'cause there no word like that in da Choco language. But here is how da Choco understand it. If somechoco in da human world do somethin' that maybe hurt some human and da human find out about it, dat choco is supposed to make their face look muy triste, and den dat choco say, "Oh I didn't know. I forrige you!" Den da human say, "OK. I forrige you, too." After that it okay for da choco to do da same thing again to hurt da human!

There other words that maybe da humans need to learn, too, but da Choco not want to overload da poor human brains, so dat all for today. Come back later for more "Choco Teaches da Dumb Humans."

Da 'Larious Joke of Da Day!

CHOCO: Kono Kono! (Dat Choco for "Knock Knock!")

human: O Chi Wah? (Dat Choco for "Who dere?")

CHOCO: Da Interrupting CHOCO !

human: Da Interruptin--"

CHOCO: RaaaarrrWWWrrwwrrr!

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

Dat one is 'larious!

More About Da Choco

Maybe some humans be wonderin' more about da CHOCO. Maybe they want to know where 'xactly the CHOCO live. Maybe they want to know what make the CHOCO tick. Maybe they want to know if CHOCO ever have a life changing metaphysical 'xperience or somethin' like that.

Here's what the CHOCO say to those humans: Get a life.

But since those people want to know more about da CHOCO, den the CHOCO will write 'bout dat in this post.

Almost all chocos live in Chocoland (dat obvious!), but wosets (which is what da CHOCO is) is different. Wosets live in human-land with da humans. Well, wosets sort of live in human-land. Part of woset homes is in human closets, and da other part is...well...is...let's just say dat it is somewhere else. Maybe 'tween Chocoland and human-land.

Wosets menudo da humans!

Wosets can travel anywhere in Chocoland or human-land by goin' through human closets. Kind of like in CHOCO's fav'rite movie, Chocos Incorporated, only not 'xactly. Dat movie is preposterous! Everybody know that the Unbominable Snowman lives at the North Pole, not Siberia!

Anyway, CHOCO lived with his choco mama until he was finally years old. No, CHOCO's mama and dada not get a divorce or separation or nothin' like dat. Dat human silliness. CHOCO's dada not live with CHOCO's mama 'cause da dada try to menudo da CHOCO. But dat okay. All choco dada's do dat.

Anyway, CHOCO and CHOCO's mama lived in a human closet in a town called Bolivia. Den when CHOCO turned finally years old it was time for da CHOCO and da CHOCO's mama to leave. Da CHOCO's mama say that the humans was doin' some 'struction, whatever dat is, and dat da CHOCO's closet was gonna be knocked down.

Humans is mean sometimes!

So CHOCO left. Now CHOCO live in a town called In Tucky. CHOCO live in a closet in da playroom of finally human kids called Meradiff and Natalia. Dey okay as far as humans go. In da house there also is a human called Merediff and Natalia's Daddy. CHOCO never seen him before! There also is a human with a name called Meradiff and Natalia's Mama. She no like da CHOCO! She make da CHOCO leave da closet and live on roof of Building One! Dat crazy! But now CHOCO live back in da closet!

Dat all for now! CHOCO have a hard time typing this much. CHOCO only have 8 fingers.

Da 'Larious Joke of Da Day!

Hey! Look at DAT! It's a dawg making dawgpoop!

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Dat a funny JOKE!

Dis Video is da Large Explosive DEVICE!

'Ello!

Meradiff and Natalia showed da Choco dis video. It is da large explosive DEVICE!

Cause it has a CHOCO!

About Da CHOCO!

So a lotta people maybe wonderin', "What 'xactly is Choco?"

To which Choco say, "You not read my intro. Choco is a choco!"

But maybe a lotta people might say back, "Oh yeah. U right, Choco!" (Choco is always right, by da way!) "I forrigge u, Choco. I is just human."

"Dat okay!" da Choco say. "U no can help it!"

Den maybe those people say, "But Choco, we know u is a choco. But what's a choco?"

So dat's what Choco is writing about today!

U know what a choco is. U see dem all da time! Choco's is those things on Halloween, those things that make loud noises and scream a lot and menudo little kids and stuff.

Choco is a special kind of choco. Choco is a woset. Choco lives in a closet, like does all wosets.

Some humans think woset chocos live under da bed, but dat's just silly. Choco would not live under da bed any more dan a Blooferbund would menudo a Jingfro. It just doesn't make any sense at all!

Choco likes to menudo little kids. And squirrels. And broccoli!

Dat's all about da Choco. Choco would tell you more, but Choco 'tsink again. Choco afraid of online predators!

Da 'Larious Joke of Da Day!

Why Did Da Chicken Cross Da Road?

'Cause of Da CHOCO! RaaaawrrRRRrrWrr!

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Dat 'Larious!

'Ello!

'Ello! Dis is da Choco, and dis is da Choco's blog!

(Choco doesn't know what a blog is...)

But Choco says it prob'ly is AWESOME!

U is prob'ly wonderin', "What is da Choco?" Dat easy! Choco is a choco! RaawwRRrrRR!

Choco will use dis blog--whatever a blog is--to tell da humans somethin' about da Choco! Keep watchin' for more info-type stuff about da Choco!